There is free, confidential help for survivors of sexual violence, both legal and emotional.

Creative Interventions Toolkit. Chapter 2, Basic I:

Interpersonal violence usually takes place between people who know each other – sometimes making violence more complicated and confusing.

Interpersonal violence is violence that occurs between:
• People in an intimate relationship (dating, marriage, live-in, domestic partner, former partner, parents of the same child, etc.) – domestic violence or intimate partner violence
• People in a family or family-like social network – family violence
• Friends
• Household Members
• Neighbors
• Co-Workers
• Members of the same organization (e.g., church, community organization, etc.)
• Acquaintances

Because these relationships of violence may also include relationships of love, companionship, friendship, loyalty and also dependence, and even survival, this can make it more confusing to understand the dynamics of violence and also to change them.

Chapter 2, Basic II:

Interpersonal violence can look many different ways and take many different forms.

We look at interpersonal violence as any form of abuse, harm, violence, or violation
taking place between two or more individuals. It can include forms of violence used to harm someone, keep someone under one’s control, to get someone to do whatever one wants them to do. Examples include the following:

• Physical Violence or Threats – Includes using intimidating body language; pushing; slapping; hitting; beating; kicking; strangling; pulling hair; holding down; locking into a room or space; driving dangerously; keeping someone up at night – not letting them sleep; leaving someone in a dangerous location; or using a weapon.

• Verbal and Emotional Violence – Includes yelling; name-calling; put-downs; humiliating behavior; always being right; or making someone feel crazy.

• Isolation – Including making it difficult for someone to make friends; keep up relationships; see one’s family; remain connected to one’s community; go to work; go to school; go outside the home; talk to other people; look at other people; make phone calls.

• Sexual Violence – Includes making someone participate in sexual activities of any kind against their will; making someone do sexual acts that they do not want to do; making someone watch pornography or see pornographic images against their will; or making sexual remarks, looks, or gestures against their will; sending unwanted sexual text messages (sexting), calls or emails; threatening to or publicly revealing sexually revealing photographs of the abused person. With regard to children, sexual violence includes any form of sexual activity with a child, any exposure to sexual content, any sexual remarks or looks.

• Economic or Financial Abuse – Includes withholding financial information from an intimate partner; controlling income against one’s partner or other family member; gambling or abusive use of credit cards; leaving too little money for financial survival; coming around during the time that someone’s work check or, government check comes in and taking control of that money.

• Controlling Property and Pets – Includes destroying property, especially property that is emotionally or financially valuable to that person; controlling someone’s important documents and papers such as identification; passport; immigration papers; controlling car keys and other means to get to transportation; threatening or harming pets.

• Stalking – Includes sending text-messages, emails or calling repeatedly; following someone at their home, workplace, school, or other places where they might be; monitoring someone’s emails or text messages; taking someone’s identity and getting into their bank accounts, email accounts or other private spaces; or leaving notes and messages repeatedly or in a harassing manner.

• Using someone’s vulnerability (due to prejudice/discrimination/oppression) against them – Includes using vulnerability and forms of prejudice/discrimination/oppression to justify one’s control and violence as a form of abuse (such as calling people names, using put-downs, treating someone with abuse based upon
this form of prejudice/discrimination/oppression); taking advantage of society’s prejudice/ discrimination/ oppression to control someone even more or prevent the abused person from getting help (such as threatening to call immigration authorities on someone who is an immigrant or who is undocumented) (See Figure 3: The Relationship between Prejudice/Privilege/Oppression and Interpersonal Violence).

• Using someone’s vulnerability (due to discrimination) to manipulate or control someone, or to excuse one’s own use of violence – Includes making one’s lack of power in society a justification for using power and control over others at home, in the relationship, or in the workplace; includes making it one person’s personal responsibility to “make up for” all social barriers or discrimination one faces; creating a contest over who is more oppressed than the other; using the excuse of “I’m more oppressed than you” to justify abuse and violence over the other person; using one’s disadvantage or abuse during childhood as an excuse for violence.

• Using things or people someone values against them – Includes “outing” (making public) someone who is lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer; making trouble at someone’s workplace; damaging someone’s reputation; harming or threatening to harm someone’s friends, family, or pets; or threatening to take someone’s children or to get custody just to harm someone.

These forms of interpersonal violence are also known by other names: domestic
violence or intimate partner violence; sexual assault or abuse; sexual harassment;
family violence; child abuse including child sexual abuse; elder abuse; violence within
friendship network or organization; and, in some cases, self-harm.

Common Forms of Interpersonal Violence

Term and Working Definition	Can Include:
Domestic Violence or Intimate Partner Violence Acts of abuse or harm or pattern of power and control exercised by one person over another within an intimate relationship (dating, living together, married, domestic partner, former relationship, parents of same children; heterosexual or same-gender)	Physical abuse including threats and threats to harm others or self Verbal abuse/put-downs Emotional abuse Intimidation Isolation Sexual abuse/assault Economic/Financial abuse Threats or use of other systems of oppression to gain power/control such as immigration enforcement (ICE, formerly known as INS), Queer outing, etc. Stalking
Sexual Harassment Unwanted sexual/affectionate attention or creation of an unwanted sexualized environment	Sexual looks/gestures Sexual comments Sexual jokes Unwanted request for dates, sexual relations Subjecting to pornography or environment demeaning to women/ girls/queer people Threats to demote, fire, harm (emotionally or physically) if sexual or dating requests are not met or if victim/ survivor tells other people
Sexual Abuse/Assault Coerced or otherwise unwanted sexual contact (for a child, this can be any sexual exposure, behavior or contact)	Sexual touching Fondling, molesting Exposure to sexual parts/genitals of the person causing harm Oral, vaginal, anal touching or penitration by the harming person’s body or object Threats to harm (emotionally or physically), demote/fire if contact is not met or if victim/survivor tells other people
Child Abuse Including Child Sexual Abuse Acts of abuse or harm against children by adults or others in a relationship of power to a child	Physical abuse including threats Physical violence including use of physical discipline Verbal abuse – put-downs Emotional abuse Intimidation Isolation Neglect – not providing adequate food, shelter, clothing, heat, sleep, adult supervision Allowing others to abuse a child Any type of sexual exposure, behavior or contact with a child
Elder Abuse Acts of abuse or harm against an elderly person by another adult	Physical abuse including threats and threats to harm others or self Verbal abuse – put-downs Emotional abuse Intimidation Isolation Sexual abuse/assault/harassment Economic/Financial abuse including taking social security money or other income, abusing power-of-attorney relationship
Violence Within Friendship, Network, or Organizations Acts of abuse or harm between members of a social network, community, organization	Physical abuse including threats and threats to harm others or self Verbal abuse – put-downs Emotional abuse Sexual abuse/assault/harassment Abuse of power in a hierarchical relationship Creating a threatening or intimidating environment

Finding Help

(1) Legal Assistance– The TIME’S UP Legal Defense Fund connects workers who face sexual harassment with attorneys. In certain cases of workplace sexual harassment, The TIME’S UP Legal Defense Fund can help pay for legal fees and media assistance. Get a free initial consultation and three referrals to lawyers, some at a reduced rate. Fill out an intake form and read more. TIME’S UP is housed and administered by the National Women’s Law Center Fund.

(2) Emotional Help– The National Sexual Assault Hotline 800.656.HOPE and Online Confidential Chat Help (https://online.rainn.org) offers two ways where survivors can be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area. There are sympathetic, confidential, free ears waiting to listen to you — call or text today. Learn more.

Focus on Black Survivors of Sexual Violence

Three years after #MeToo, survivors of sexual violence still face significant barriers to coming forward and seeking justice, especially Black survivors. We, As Ourselves — a new initiative by TIME’S UP Foundation, ‘me too’ international, and the National Women’s Law Center — is changing that. Glamour Magazine interviews some Black women making this happen.

Watch A Love Letter to Black Survivors (1.5 min.), a short compilation of Black activists centering the voices and experiences of Black survivors.